Speed Racer (2008)

Even if you don't remember the old Japanese cartoon, the Wachowski brothers of Matrix fame have kept everything about the original show intact for the live-action feature. Everything from the elongated and exasperated dialogues in which the plot is revealed in one breath, to the quirky tag lines and colorful characters. And who would be the one to jump behind the Mach 5? Emile Hirsch? The guy maybe seven other people would recognize from 2004s The Girl Next Door? How about Christina Ricci as Trixie? Perhaps best yet is casting John Goodman as Pops Racer. The film itself is a giant car-on-car kung fu picture. While the movie seems to constantly fail at keeping a serious tone of any sort, the over-the-top action sequences and constant blue screen backdrops make Speed Racer worth a viewing. It may not be poetry in motion but the movie runs its course without leaving you with the need to take a cold shower to wash away the stink of garbage cinema. If nothing else, the movie's rainbows of the color spectrum are the perfect means of calibrating your television to its best picture quality. Start your engines!